The Bumpkinton Tales: Volume One
A Humorous Anthology
Welcome to Bumpkinton!
Come in, have a cup of tea and a scone, and lose yourself in five humorous tales from the village.
Follow Father Whitworth O’Grady as he chokes on a penny, Albert Scatterhorn as he becomes the grubbiest Father Christmas ever, and Amelia Goose as she feuds with… well, anybody. Plus a whole host of characters as they attend the village’s first Singles Night with a sex-crazed ladies’ man.
Jump in and find out more for yourself…
The Bumpkinton Tales: Volume One is the first paperback release by the author and includes five humorous short stories and novella's packed with colourful characters.
Find a quiet cafe, sit back and enjoy.
Whitworth stood in the amber glow of the streetlights by the rectory gate and waved to a number of villagers as they made their way in the direction of the local public house. He checked his watch and exhaled.
What is he up to? He thought to himself. Fenton had been gone for almost six hours. What if he’d found a tyre swing up by the River Eppforth, decided to have a go like old times and ended up drowning? Whitworth shook off such thoughts. He was panicking, but he couldn’t rule out some mischief making. There wasn’t enough to do in Bumpkinton to constitute a six-hour absence. The priest was about to give up and go back indoors when he saw a familiar figure emerging from Nest Lane. Whitworth stood up straight and tried to put an expression of annoyance upon his face.
“Have you got trapped wind, brother?” asked Fenton as he reached the gate.
“No, I have not,” snapped Whitworth. “Where the heck have you been?”
“Here and there.”
“For six hours?”
“I-I fell asleep,” Fenton floundered.
“I… oh shut up, brother. You’re very suspicious for a man of God.”
“Can you blame me? I thought you’d drowned in the River Eppforth.”
“Drowned? What an imagination you have,” said Fenton. He smoothed his hair and flashed a smile at Janet Dearlove who was making her way along the street. “So, are we going down the pub or what?”
“Yes. Come on,” said Whitworth as he looked at his brother tiredly.
He’s definitely up to something, the priest thought to himself as they set off towards The Ploughman’s Itch, but what?
"Fun collection of stories surrounding the village of Bumpkinton. Well written and really enjoyable!" - Suzie, Readers Haven
"I just love this collection." K Jenkins., Katherines Bookshelf
"I have just finished reading the Bumpkinton Tales and now that I have visited this village, I want to stay there. The characters are charming, believable and so funny." Jan Underwood, Amazon.
Matthew attended creative writing classes in 2012 and 2013 and was nominated for an Adult Learner Award in 2014. He also runs the Laid-back Writers Group, which meets once a month at Central Library in Liverpool. This group is aimed at writers of any skill or experience, whether they be beginners or experienced, all are welcome.
This group is aimed at being a place where writers can come together and write at their own pace and to help kick-start those who want to write but can't get past a first draft.
Matthew released his first works in 2013, the majority being stories in the Bumpkinton Tales series. Matthew's first paperback was a collection of short stories and novella's entitled The Bumpkinton Tales: Volume One.
Matthew lives in a flat overlooking the River Mersey and, when the weather allows, sits outside and writes his stories in glorious sunshine, which isn't much, so mostly takes place at the kitchen table!
Matthew Drzymała's website